


Seven Words You Can Never Say On Berk

by ashleybenlove



Series: Ashley's OT6 [42]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Banned Together Bingo, Bodily Functions, Censorship, Explicit Language, Homophobic Language, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, OT6, Polyamory, Post-Dragons: Race to the Edge, Public Display of Affection, Queer Youth, References to Sex, Slurs, The 7 Dirty Words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:07:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleybenlove/pseuds/ashleybenlove
Summary: Stoick has a list of seven words he would rather not hear Ruffnut say on Berk.
Relationships: Astrid/Fishlegs/Hiccup/Ruffnut/Snotlout/Tuffnut
Series: Ashley's OT6 [42]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1023567
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56
Collections: Banned Banned Together Bingo 2020, Banned Togethe Bingo Recovery, Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Seven Words You Can Never Say On Berk

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Banned Together Bingo 2020 for the square prompt: "The 7 Dirty Words"
> 
> Shoutout to achillesmonochrome on tumblr who suggested Ruffnut say the words. 
> 
> Also, shoutout to the late, great George Carlin to whom the 7 Dirty Words are attributed to in his "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" monologue (and the title of which I used for my fic), though obviously modified for my setting. 
> 
> This is set after Race to the Edge.

Stoick didn’t necessarily mind language of a certain type, he just was of the opinion that it wasn’t appropriate to say certain words in public. He had no objection to Ruffnut or her friends (including his son) saying those words while flying on their dragons or otherwise in private, but in public among mixed company? Not so much.

And he felt there were seven words that weren’t appropriate while out in public on Berk.

He kind of wasn’t surprised that a Thorston was saying these words. And Ruffnut Thorston had used all seven words in public.

**Shit**

A loud whine followed by, “But I don’t want to shovel dragon shit!”

“It’s your turn, Ruffnut,” Hiccup said, patiently. “We all have to do it.”

“Shit!” Ruffnut exclaimed.

**Piss**

“I gotta take a piss,” he had overheard Ruffnut announce in the Great Hall while she had been sitting with the Dragon Riders, within earshot of basically most of the island.

Not at all polite. No one needs to know that.

Her brother and Snotlout had laughed, which of course, encouraged her.

**Fuck**

Ruffnut regularly used this word. So much so that he could not think of a singular incident with any clarity, they all kind of meshed together. It was part of her vocabulary.

**Cunt**

He did not object to Ruffnut’s romantic relationships with the four Dragon Riders unrelated to her (including his son). He was quite supportive of it. However, casually using the term ‘cunt’ in public in terms of sexual activity? Or, really, for any reason? No, that was not okay.

“I swear, I’m going to eat her cunt tonight,” he had heard Ruffnut tell her partners and her brother in clear reference to Astrid, rather loudly in public. He did not know Astrid’s reaction and frankly, it was not any of his business.

**Cocksucker**

Now this word? He definitely objected the most to this word because of its homophobic nature. So, he was kind of shocked and surprised that a group of queer youths would use it so cavalierly.

Yes, to some degree he was bothered by it the most because it was directed at someone he loved dearly (his son) and he didn’t want to see his son face the same gross discrimination he had seen Gobber face.

Plus, again, Ruffnut was talking about sexual activity in public.

His son and Snotlout had been kissing each other in public. A chaste kiss would have been fine, but it was more than that. And it wasn’t appropriate for public. They were making out. As the kids say, get a room.

Ruffnut, having been watching this had exclaimed, “Are you going to kiss me, you cocksuckers?”

They had given her a kiss.

**Motherfucker**

He had no idea of the context of this one. Why she yelled it or what reason. Stoick just knew he had heard her from a distance yell “Motherfucker!”

His best assumption? Probably yelling at her brother.

**Tits**

Another public comment about sexuality. He had been minding his own business while in the Great Hall when he heard Ruffnut exclaim her love of breasts. Except that’s not the word she used.

Tits.

Why.

Gods, he hoped she wasn’t publicly fondling someone’s breasts.

So, Stoick gave some thought to it and while he wouldn’t make a public pronouncement of banning these words in specific (as if that would work; that would just encourage people), he would have a talk with his son, who would then relay it to Ruffnut.

“Before you head out, son,” Stoick asked, one morning.

“Hmm?” Hiccup said.

“I would like you to relay something to your girlfriend,” Stoick asked.

“Which one?” Hiccup asked and then laughed.

Stoick sighed.

“Hey, I’m poly; I have two girlfriends and three boyfriends. Be specific, you’re the one who walked into that,” Hiccup said.

“Ruffnut,” Stoick said.

“Okay. What is it?”

“Please tell her not to say these words,” Stoick began, and then handed Hiccup a slip of paper with the words written on them. “in public.”

Hiccup looked at the list of words: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

“I said this when I was fifteen but I cannot control the twins and I sure as Hel can’t now even when I’m dating them. She’s gonna say what she wants.”

“So, calling you that fifth word is appropriate in public? Or at all?”

Hiccup silently counted the words and then said, “Oh. Great point, there. Definitely lots of reasons to object to that word in specific.”

“Yup,” Stoick said. “I don’t want to hear someone call you that word. Period. It’s not a nice word.”

Hiccup nodded.

“Plus, referencing your sexual behaviors in public is not appropriate behavior. Regardless of who you’re having sex with. She doesn’t need to talk about giving or receiving cunnilingus or fellatio in public, whether about herself or others,” Stoick said.

“I hate that you called it that,” Hiccup said.

“Get over it,” Stoick replied.

A pause.

“So, uh, are we done? Can I go?” Hiccup asked.

“Yes,” Stoick said. “Take the paper with you.”

“Right,” Hiccup said. He grabbed the piece of paper. “Come on, Toothless!”

A little while later, he was with the Riders on a sea stack because having this talk in the Great Hall clearly was not what his father would want.

“So, I have a request from my father to you,” Hiccup said, directly to Ruffnut. “He wants you to stop saying certain words in public. And not to call me a cocksucker, which I’m inclined to agree with him.”

Ruffnut nodded. “So, what are the words I’m not allowed to say on Berk?’

Hiccup looked at the piece of paper and read off, rather quickly: “Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Seven (More) Words You Can Never Say on Berk](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574033) by [afterandalasia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterandalasia/pseuds/afterandalasia)




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